by - The anonymous employers are looking for an “Executive/Personal Assistant” on a full-time basis
- Duties include babysitting, gardening, travel planning and always on call
- The salary is $65,000 to $95,000, despite the extensive list of job requirements
A New York art couple are being grilled online over a job ad for an assistant with a “high level of discretion” that is so outrageous in its demands it borders on parody.
Emily Colucci, a freelance arts writer, came across the shocking ad while “mindlessly” scrolling through job postings on the New York Foundation for the Arts (NYFA) website last week, The New York Times reported.
The anonymous employers – known only as one ‘high-profile art world family’ — applicant a full-time ‘Executive/Personal Assistant’ who is also expected to function as house manager, babysitter, gardener and travel agent.
The annual salary for the position and its seemingly endless list of requirements is $65,000 to $95,000, depending on experience.
“The ideal candidate must be dedicated to a single goal: to make life easier for the couple in every way possible,” according to the job description.
And when they say everything, they mean everything.
The job notice’s ‘Overview of Responsibilities’ is divided into four long sections, starting with travel.
The couple’s assistant will be responsible for managing all travel bookings for both the family and members of the artist’s studio. They are also expected to pack for them, even though it is listed under “other duties.”
The person must “liaise with external high-end travel suppliers to coordinate domestic and international travel arrangements” and “create detailed itineraries for the family to follow and make complex last-minute changes when necessary.”
In terms of calendars and appointments, the assistant will be responsible for making restaurant reservations, responding to events, coordinating appointments and preparing the family “for everything they need to do in advance.”
Some of the most outrageous tasks are listed in the “personal/domestic tasks” section.
The assistant must “serve as the central point of communication to the housekeeping staff” — including “the cook, nannies, landscapers, dog walkers, housekeeper, contractors and building managers.”
They must “coordinate all cleaning, repairs and guest stays” and “run home-related errands around Manhattan and Brooklyn.”
Taking care of the dry cleaning, buying gifts, shopping for groceries and managing the drop-off and pick-up of “clothes from exclusive stores” are some of the errands mentioned.
Animal care is another aspect of the job, although it is listed as “managing dog systems.” This includes “potty breaks, food, daycare, dog walkers, vet appts” and helping the studio assistant with the cats in the studio.
There is also an expectation of “maintenance of the garden on the roof.”
Other duties include, but are not limited to, managing online subscriptions, maintaining guest lists for opening events, preparing thank-you letters, putting together presentations, and helping create social media content.
Babysitting is another responsibility, although it is listed as a job requirement.
The candidate must be comfortable with children as the family has a four year old child. You will be in their personal residence and spend a lot of time with the nanny and children. Sometimes left with the child alone,’ according to the post.
They also need to be “flexible to be on call outside of the business day 10am-6pm,” which means “responding to messages and taking care of tasks before and after work, as well as occasionally on weekends.”
The listing reiterates that the candidate ‘must be extremely discreet (sic),’ and while they prefer that they have a bachelor’s degree, they will consider hiring someone who has two or more years of administrative or personal assistant experience.
In addition to the somewhat paltry salary of an assistant who oversees practically everything in their lives, their employees will receive two weeks of vacation, a 401k, and health, dental, and vision benefits.
To ensure that their eventual candidate will never talk about their life, it was noted that a “disclosure agreement must be signed upon employment.”
The outrageous job was quickly taken down after presumably being met with backlash, but Colucci had uploaded the PDF and saved it for posterity.
She included a link to the PDF in her “Filthy Dreams” blog post, which she called “I Found It: The Worst Art Job Listing Ever Created.”
“The record is comprehensive and rewards repeated reading in the giggles of disbelief. It also unfolds like a flowering onion – many layers, all stinking and leaving a bad taste in your mouth, she wrote.
“It also sounds like a brilliant piece of satire about the complete separation of the rich from everyone else’s everyday life and viewing the rest of us peons as servants to make their lives easier. It’s a perfectly unintentional parody that I’ve already saved it as a PDF in case they ever take it down.’
A number of commenters claimed to be former employees of the alleged art family, who may not be as anonymous as they think.
“I recognized the tone of this immediately – sent shivers down my spine. But I’m hugely encouraged to see so many ex-employees chime in here,’ one person wrote.
“Someone should write an exposé about that studio. It is one of the most toxic workplaces in all of art. It makes Devil Wears Prada look cozy, added another.
“There’s a reason these are posted every six months! Looks like he forgot to try to hide what a nightmare he is with this one. The most miserable work environment I have ever been exposed to, commented another.
Artist Hilde Lynn Helphenstein, who runs the @jerrygogosian Instagram meme account, poked fun at the viral job posting on Monday by sharing her own personal assistant parody listing.
“Prestigious Art World figure seeking emotional punching bag and 19th century lady-in-waiting,” she wrote, noting the pay is “uncompetitive.”
